she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
