...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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