This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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