I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
