Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
