Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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