Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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