Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
