week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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