look no pants
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
