I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And then he peed in my hair
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