Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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