Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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