It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
