Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
