all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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