i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
