So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
