So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Farmville is her only friend.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize