hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize