people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
