I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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