Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
