hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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