sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
