Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
