I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
