She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
