god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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