I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
