i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
