It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
