I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
