you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
