he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish i was in the wii world.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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