Quick, to the slutcave!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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