Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
