Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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