Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
