I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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