well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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