Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
