you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize