Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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