I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
