party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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