if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
