at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
