the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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