I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
