I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
