At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
