you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
