I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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