remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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