Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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