he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
