can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
