Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're a waste of cheezeits
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
