Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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