Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
