i think my tv is drunk
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
