did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
