it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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