it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize