wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
