found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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