this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
