Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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