Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
