I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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