a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
