Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
